#because of the pain of course
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Struggling really bad with migraines. I can’t be here a lot because it’s awful to look at the screen. I’m struggling to walk straight lines because of the dizziness and I can’t sleep because of the pain. The thing about being constantly sick is that… it’s so boring. You can’t really do anything because of the pain, but you also wish you were doing literally anything else instead of being miserable in bed. Most of all, I wish for low pain days and less fatigue. Oh, and I also want so bad to be by the beach.
Queue is on as usual, and it’s safe to say I won’t be around as much as long as this crisis continues.
I hope everyone is doing okay. I wish you all low pain days, less fatigue, and a long seaside vacation.
Lots of love,
Liv
#this turned out longer than I expected#oh well#it’s 2:20am and I can’t sleep because of the pain and the ringing in my years#idk man I’m so tired of the sameness of day to day life with chronic pain#I’m trying to remember that I can find joy in the little things and try to slowly build a life that makes me feel stable and safe#but it’s hard#because of the pain of course
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ppl are too quick to point to laios' disability as the reason his friends think he's a freak sometimes. so many instances of laios getting yelled at are, in my eyes, a case of "this guy had to emotionally mature very early in order to be there for his little sister" combined with "much older friends who never had to learn to manage their own emotions to the same degree"
a lot of the time he's right about needing to be more direct/deal with things in a way that may seem scary/needing to put your gut reaction aside. he tries not to make his friends uncomfortable and he puts up with a lot because he's trying to keep the peace, but he also pushes the others out of their comfort zones purposefully to try to get them to think more constructively. everyone else in the party is prone to acting on their gut instincts and avoiding uncomfortable situations even when facing them head-on is very much necessary. part of what makes laios such a great leader is the fact that he knows from experience how to put his own feelings aside to help someone else grow.
yes, he does make a lot of social blunders by accident and he does struggle to connect with others, but not all of his positive influence on others is accidental or "despite" making people uncomfortable. a lot of the time, I think it's clear he knows exactly what he's doing and he's trying to help the people around him process emotions in a healthy way as they all go through some truly harrowing shit. all the main characters support each other as well as they can with their unique emotional skillsets. laios' skillset just happens to be "gently talk child into eating her vegetables"
#deerchatter#dungeon meshi#laios touden#of course this IS also connected to his disability. bc having an iron grip on your own emotional reaction is often needed to survive#in an ableist society. and he wouldn't have had to parent falin so much if the two of them hadn't been ostracized growing up#but the point of the post is that laios is a lot more emotionally intelligent than his party (or many fans) realizes#he's not just stumbling ass-first into being helpful he is clearly applying a skillset that is direly lacking in his friends#marcille and chilchuck in particular haaaaate uncomfy situations and are under the impression that if smth Feels bad then it Is bad.#and senshi avoids so many situations and feelings because of his trauma that he's been unable to grow past it on his own#this post was particularly inspired by the griffin meat scene. everyone else suggests senshi just avoid his trauma forever#and they're absolutely shocked when laios suggests senshi try to grow and overcome his pain bc. That Sounds Scary. lol#so many of the story's themes revolve around overcoming your own impulses and biases#and laios is uniquely suited to leading that change.#r.i.p. laios/toshiro friendship you guys have so much more in common than you realize
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Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?
(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#fem payneland#although technically as everyone is the opposite gender their last names should be different#OKAY you know the drill u get fanart and i get to ramble about it#Edith wears pants now#this pains me because i love drawing skirts but after she escaped hell#she met charlotte who made an offhand comment about how it's easier to move with pants#and edith who just spent 70 years running in hell went wait a tick#she feels safer that way is what i'm saying#interesting because as you can see she wore a skirt to confess and we know how THAT went but anyway#charlotte's mom was abusive of course#and she forced her to practice ballet despite charlotte being interested in a lot of other sports#she did fairly well at ballet but this means no cricket bat :(#i know we all love butch fem charles but as he's mostly gender conforming i decided to not do that#no reason for the bracelets but as i wanted to give her a choker i thought they would combine with the earrings#crystal is still crystal because his parents are weird artists who like stupid names#niko though... i don't know what to name him#dead girl detectives
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House MD depicts an autistic who has gotten insanely good at reading people and is just in too much pain to use it for social engineering much beyond his weird little pranks and machinations. my dad is this type of autist, i think of it as the Frasier Crane type as opposed to the Star Trek type. you know. capable of being jocular, jovial, charming, even seductive, but it requires so much bandwidth its still extremely taxing. i have been telling you on this blog for ten years that it is in your best interests to become jocular. it will stun you how much better you are at reading people than the majority of neurotypicals. there's no reason for them to get good at it when they dont even know what there is to get good at. microexpressions are real and i can see them
#blog#autism#of course you dont know whats going on you cant see anyones face!!! thats where all the information is#youre bad at reading people because it causes you physical pain to look someone in the eyes so of course youve had 1/1000th of the practice#this is due to the information overload#grit your teeth through it#they cant tell youre not smiling
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imagine learning percy got the curse of achilles. and knowing it's sole purpose it making the bearer invincible. and this man. who's skin you already couldn't lay a finger on. now not even a scythe could pierce his flesh. and then one random tuesday hearing him shriek in pain. and doing a fucking double take at that. before realizing he's has a subtle blush growing on his face. and his girlfriend is standing next to him with a smug smile.
#can y'all imagine the wiplash anytime you hear him express pain#him sharply inhaling or hissing at the pain he feelsv#and each time it happens#his girlfriend is right there#because of course she knows his only weakspot#she might as well be his weakspot#(they don't know how spot on their assumptions are)#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon
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one of the things that continues to strike me on reread is how much the character of Darcy, and Austen through him, finds Mr. Bennet dead. And how much Elizabeth, in growing and changing and discarding her past blindness, has to move past her way of seeing her father and thus of seeing reality, because the two are connected! Darcy’s letter exposes her father’s flaws to Elizabeth in a way she’d never been able to see before. Most especially the way his laziness and neglect of his own gifts have hurt his family and that ultimately he doesn’t. care. Not enough to change. It literally says that she comes home from Hunsford and tries to laugh at her sisters’ and mother’s folly (the way she used to; the way her father has taught her to by example for her whole life) and she can’t anymore! It sticks in her throat. She is grieved by the failures that she sees in him, all the more so because she IS his favorite and she loves him! And the thing about Mr. Bennet is he never changes. The Lydia/wickham situation exposes to him sharply his own conduct and the consequences and he feels it! Because he is neither stupid nor unfeeling. But he, like everyone, has free will. And he chooses not to change when the opportunity presents itself. He even jokes about how quickly his feeling bad will pass and how soon everything will go back to normal, to his laziness and his selfishness. He is set in his ways and he serves as a contrast to Elizabeth’s personal journey because he embodies a version of a person she could have become and was in danger of becoming if her only goal at all times was to laugh at and judge people from the sidelines.
#pride and prejudice#I’ve always loved his character because he IS funny and he is iconic!!! and his love for Lizzy is touching!#he’s not faking it.#but he is so flawed. a man of taste a man of ability a man of judgment.#a man who could and SHOULD have set a different tone for his children and chose not to!#and they SUFFER FOR IT#their house is a divided one. and every child feels the pain of living in a house where the parents neither respect each other#nor are on the same team#there is a crack running through their house for this reason and it’s how Lydia (and Kitty) came to be so neglected!#who is going to discipline them or guide them? certainly not Mr. Bennet!#he’s so important to teach too. because the boys LOVE HIM. of course!#and are always very struck by his failures and laziness once I point it out#and yeah Darcy one of the only people who can expose him. because Darcy is putting in the work a man should be doing#Darcy’s house IS in order. his love is active and protective. he is fulfilling his role!#Mr. Bennet’s gifts are so extraordinary—the wit. the insight into human nature. honestly the capacity for wisdom#but he likes his library. he likes enjoying himself more than he likes doing his duty#as either a father or a husband#he does fail Mrs. Bennet! I have compassion for her there#anyway I love to think about this: something no version I have ever seen has ever fully explored#but man is it on the page#yeah yeah sorry for all the words. teacher off duty etc.
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what I find very interesting about the narrator's choice of reward - ie. an eternity of supposed bliss inside the cabin - is that while it seems on its surface just another instance of him projecting his desires onto you, it actually isn't. he himself probably thinks that he would desire an unchanging eternity like the one in the cabin, but...
when he is talking about his reasons for wanting to remove death from the world, his focus is almost entirely on connections to others. he talks about the greater good, having loved ones, wanting better for them. it's those connections that drive him to submit to death in the hope of defeating it. he is definitely selfish, but if he was totally selfish, he wouldn't have been able to do that. he believes his own death is a worthy sacrifice for the continued existence of his world. his vision of an ideal eternity, as he describes to you, is one where connections are endlessly and joyfully rediscovered.
in his ideal ending, you've killed off the only being you could ever meaningfully connect to. and this is one of the main reasons his plan dooms itself. who could bear the weight of an eternity alone? not him, certainly.
#narrates#slay the princess#found this one in drafts...#btw this is why i think of the time loop ending as actually the closest to the narrators vision! despite him clearly not liking it#an eternity of forgetting and rediscovering connections. a cycle of perpetual motion that always ends at the same place anyway#of course. its horribly painful. because that type of existence would have to be. but hes never been able to grasp that.#the pain is also what makes it meaningful! if he could grasp that though he would not be the narrator
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evil time loop escape conditions where you can't get out until you've fuucked up your life in the most spectacular way possible, confident that the next night will reset the slate as usual.
instead, the next day comes.
#that's the first chapter btw#the rest of the story is about coming back from the fallout#trying to make amends#something something the hubris of believing you were above consequences#coming to terms with the pain you were willing to cause in the moment because you never thought it would last (but it did)#actually maybe this is just undertale geno route#post cancelled undertale did it already#lol mostly i was trying to figure out if i could get to new york in a daily reset time loop#i probably could if i fucked up my life#and of COURSE that would be the day it didn't reset
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happy halloween! the cast from fist of idol: togenkyo have reunited again to bring us...... a horror movie?!
#in this scenario we of course have eichi as the first victim tori as the heroine and final girl wataru as the villain#yuzuru as the last death in dramatic and painful self-sacrifice because he would. and also the chainsaw is his of course#and last but not least hokuto as the plot twist villain because (points at the title)#(in fact my thought process was ok horror movie tori has a chainsaw now what else. the 13th night would be a great title.#and from then on everything else was pretty obvious)#tori himemiya#eichi tenshouin#hokuto hidaka#wataru hibiki#yuzuru fushimi#mao isara#subaru akehoshi#makoto yuuki#enstars#ensemble stars#of course ideally the dog wouldve been king. but being realistic he's too old to act let's let him rest#and also for my personal entertainment in this movie hokuto would play toris boyfriend#because i really like when the boyfriend turns out to be evil and i get to say DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its always great#art tag#im technically still a bit early but i wanted to post this so bad
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simself because i made a tank top
#it was my birthday yesterday#went out with my friends for drinks#they bought me a fujifilm instax! i'm so obsessed with it maybe i'll post some of the pics i took ☺️#i want to try get into making cc again#this was fun#but also it was just me procrastinating photoshop assignments aghhh uni is so overwhelming#i love some aspects of my course like the blender stuff and the filming n photography#but the drawing in photoshop and the music making is a pain in the ass#anyways hi simblr bye simblr#love that u loved my chickens maybe when the semester is over i'll post the assignment they came from#i think ye would like it ❤️#i might try post something cool for halloween because i'm off that week 🫡
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I implore you to imagine their anime voices here. /out of context wip from the narumitsu comic 💙❤️ PS. I'm going to post the wips on ko-fi first, as I don't need to care about the time to post stuff, so if you want to see them as soon as they're posted... -> here
#ace attorney#narumitsu#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#wrightworth#periwinkla#periwinkla wips#you know - the reason I love them is of course because they inspire each other and make the other better and stuff#but after that - it's because they're both the most lovable goofs that have ever goofed seriously they're too precious#the guy with the poker face that can say whatever with a straight face if he so wishes#and the other guy who is basically *done* with anyone he meets because everyone he meets is a piece of work#you know- it started by befriending larry and phoenix and it kinda snowballed from there#I mean Phoenix has Trucy Apollo and Athena who basically take care of the agency for him - but Edgeworth?#he has to bear with the weirdos of the prosecutor's office - you feel his pain?#he's done but also- he's resigned to his fate#and has partnered for life with the biggest piece of work there is
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HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade
"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."
#hazbin hotel#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel edit#masquerade#my gifs#character spotlight#Certified Redemption ☑︎#hello hi i'm in love with the kitty man like actually#he NEEDS more screentime in s2 in fact he needs his own episode#PLS PLS she confirmed that we're gonna get to know some (but not all) of the character's backstories in s2 PLEASE LET HUSK BE ONE OF THEM#I'LL ACTUALLY DIE THANK YOU#alright i'm coming back to these tags to point stuff out#first off - the fact that he closes his eyes and shakes his head and reaches up to hold his suspenders before offering actual help#physically hyping himself up to lend a hand even though his whole thing is having an empty shell of a heart - apparently.#AAAAAA#but ALSO#holding his suspenders - self soothing gesture possibly? he knows lending a hand could give way to vulnerability on his end regardless if h#even shares personal information about himself or not - at the BARE MINIMUM he is saying ''look. i care a little. okay?'' by even OFFERING#help to begin with. AND OTHER THING!!!!!!!#the fact that he himself bitched and moaned earlier that episode about how EVERYONNEEE likes to bitch to the bartender#and he talks about how he knows everything about everyone seemingly against his better wishes#it's all part of the job he's forced to do#so you could also look at him shaking his head as a way for him to literally ''shake off'' that attitude because again. HE CARES.#even if it's just a little.#then GODDDDD his reaction to angel breaking down. the way he softens. his ears go down. he looks to the ground.#his ''old crusty heart'' was actually touched - not in the happy way of course. it was pain. struck with sympathy and remorse.#LISTEN I LOVE THIS GOD DAMN CAT OKAY
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reciprocal gift | Ida's wand handle lore
Sebastian might not understand Ida's passion towards nature and it's aesthetic, but he is attentive enough to notice it.
And after Ida's gift - the music box that played the lullaby mother sang to Anne and Sebastian, he tried his best to make something equal despite the lack of money or time.
#AS I PROMISED NO ANGST JUST THEM BEING AWKWARD AND SILLY#I bet it was too personal gift for Ida poor girl read the gesture absolutely wrong#meanwhile Sebastian was just confused bu such expensive gift from her back then#of course he tried to make something in return#I also glad to show you THIS side of their relationship because before drama there were a lot of comfort#so that's why all the next events are so painful in the story#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy oc#ida ullson#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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contemplating what exactly it was about ford that made bill feel important now
#text#gravity falls#billford#because hes had countless worshippers over the centuries#I wonder what made ford special and what made his 'betrayal' more painful#I have no answers its just interesting to think about#and I love hearing peoples feelings on the complexities of mortal/immortal relationships esp with these freaks#whatever it is I do think if we take some of bills feelings as genuine#despite his proclamations that ford was a pawn and a pet#I think there are enough hints that maybe for the first time he viewed a mortal being on a somewhat equal footing#and maybe thats the distinction#he couldve killed ford easily in the first weirdmaggedon ep especially since in the moment he didnt know he was trapped by the barrier#and yet he doesnt#and when he does unfreeze ford he offers him power and a place at his side#which was primarily a manipulation tactic but man...I dont know#of course its hard to tell with a character like bill what was a lie and what is genuine#thats the whole point#I do think there are real feelings he has but theyre so hidden under irony and self loathing that I dont even know if hes aware of them
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“Khonshu: Strikefile,” Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu (Vol. 1/2024), #0.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Jake Lockley#Steven Grant#Marc Spector#THERE THEY ARE#LOOK AT ‘EM#gosh I just want to see them sock Khonshu in the jaw again#that last text box (and whole second page honestly) does such an excellent job of weaving that uncomfortably complex relationship#that I both want Marc far away from and is so endlessly fascinating to dissect#you know how it is#it’s that uniquely Moon Knight combination of serving an imperfect god and distant father-son relationships#inexorably intwined in religious expectations and pain and duty and there’s some sort of strained love in there too#makes me just sit and think about it for awhile because comics are so wild how do I just explain that to people#oh and of course#thank you Mr. Cappuccio
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i don't think wonderland is ready for those alices
#i have so so many things i could say about this cielois madness returns au (yeah that's what i call it. it's not even meant to be cielois)#(but like. ship names are convenient aren't they)#anyway so many things. but that would be a lot so i'll talk about it if someone asks or if i feel like it later#this post's rambles will be about the outfits!!#so. i gave ciel the dollhouse dress and alois the queensland dress#i know they could have been swapped. and it might have made more sense#HOWEVER#i do not care#i can and will put alois in red just because i want to. and of course i would give him a red fit in an amr fusion au#the vibes are rancid. it's perfect. that's what him being in this au is about!!#terrible things happen to children in kuro and in alice ok#anyway. i know queensland would be good for ciel because r!ciel BUT please envision queen luka i BEG#it's heartwrenching to see lizzie look so small in the game already so luka???? soul crushing. i want it.#now. the dollhouse dress for ciel#because of funtom mostly... and the vibes... and he's more of a doll than alois is ngl...#like. i know that it fits alois more because it's heavy on the trafficking and poverty parts but. see if i care#plus the minor theme of exorcising the evil of the city through the pain of children is more ciel-coded. so yeah#and he looks so bad in red oh my god i could not give him another dress... unless it was the mad hatter one and it would have been boring#also very much not fitting#you might notice that i changed the symbols on both of their aprons#in both cases i replaced female with male obviously but#in ciel's case the dollhouse dress has so many disgusting implications and i made them worse you're welcome <3#(replaced female with male and male with one of the symbols you can see on the contract seal. yeah yeah that's fucked i know)#(it's alice madness returns. and fucking black butler. bad things be happening to children!!)#anyway#that's it for my rambles#i got too lazy to do the vorpal blade and hobby horse light trails#so we'll live with the fact that my sketch has better vibes than the final piece#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart
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